Visual Look
The
visual look for this movie is amazing! I was quite surprised
to find that it was shot on digital video, as it looks
more like 35mm film. The filmmakers were also very faithful
to their genre of Film Noir, as the entire short takes
place at night, and all the indoor shots are lit with
very dramatic lighting. There were no white balance problems
or any other visual issues, and the editing was very seamless
and well-done.
There
is one really excellent scene at the beginning of the
movie where Peter and a female co-worker are leaving the
Savings & Loan office as the security guard is in
the process of closing up. As Peter and his co-worker
walk through the main entrance way of the building, the
security guard shuts off the main lights, leaving the
scene awash with a red security light. Not only is this
visually interesting, but it's a nice touch in keeping
with the genre of the film, and sets the tone for what
is about to happen.
I
only have a couple concerns about the visual elements.
Firstly, during the dinner scene between Jake and Peter,
a two-shot of both of them in profile appears to be slightly
out of focus. It's rather difficult to tell as the lighting
is rather dark, and this shot isn't used too often, but
it is a little distracting. Also, in the scene when Peter
is walking to his car, the pan that followed him through
the parking garage seemed a little shaky and unsteady.
This is in contrast to the rest of the camera shots in
the film, most of which were steady and fixed. It seems
as though it might be a good idea to either pull a different
take for this segment, or do a quick re-shoot.
Finally,
in the diner scene there is a brief dialogue between Jake
and the waitress in which she threatens that an ominous-sounding
man named "Big Al" will come over and snap his neck if
Jake continues to get smart with her. This is a nice bit
of dialogue, but there should be some sort of brief cutaway
to at least show "Big Al" giving Jake the evil eye. Unless
the audience sees the imposing figure, it seems like a
rather ridiculous, empty threat for the waitress to make,
and makes Jake look ridiculous because he takes it at
face value without even seeing "Big Al." Either way, if
the audience doesn't see that this mystery man poses a
clear threat, it's not worth even mentioning him. These
issues aren't all that noticeable, but it's enough to
briefly distract the viewer from what is other wise a
very technically sound film.
[Note
to director: as you've mentioned that this short is
only a segment of a feature-length film that you plan
on making in the future, it might be interesting to re
consider the camerawork for the full film--even though
it's much harder to pull off, a moving camera really adds
to the feel of a film, especially in the Film Noir genre.
I think it would definitely enhance the mood to plan for
more moving shots in the final film.]
Use
of Audio
The
audio on this movie was very good; it was clear and easy
to understand, and had some great touches of ambience.
For example, in the exchange of dialogue between Jake
and Peter in the parking garage, their voices have a characteristic
echo of an empty concrete structure, but the effect is
not overdone and their words are still intelligible. This
seems to be quite an achievement considering that their
range of voice goes from yelling to casual conversation
and then back to yelling again; yet even with this range
of sound and the echo effect, the audio doesn't spike
at all, and the dialogue is very easy to hear.
