First up: “Nintendo Office” a short that immediately grabs my nostalgia cockles and runs. The inconsistency of the short and lack of structure is made up for entirely by the sequence involving Boos stalking the copy guy. (see fig. c) Low budget and well executed.
Then comes “Kidney Thieves” a short about a guy who wakes up in Mexico to find that his kidneys have been stolen, and not by the two kidney thieves standing before him. The film is amusing, if a bit slow. And rather than being engrossed by the story, I find myself simply wondering if that is in fact Paget Brewster as the female kidney thief. I had a huge thing for her from when she dated Joey but fell in love with Chandler who had to go live in the box for reasons that were three-fold. But that's a story for another time. Still MORE perplexing, however, is WHO IS THE GUY IN THE TUB THAT LOOKS JUST LIKE A HEAVIER ETHAN EMBRY?! Turns out the answer to that mystery is...Ethan Embry. He's gotten big. And tattooed. And pierced. Certainly no longer this guy. But anyway, he hasn't gotten FAT, just doesn't look like he used to. But then, neither do I. And it is, in fact, Paget Brewster. Nice.
Next up is a music video by the cute wild-haired girl who first sat in the front row, then commented about how the girl with the Muppet hair shouldn't perhaps sit in front of the projector. I later find out her name (Emi Jarvi) and the music video's title ("Everytime") and her website (video's the second one from the bottom) And her Muppet hair is adorable. (see fig. d) So is she. The song is great, the location as well. It's like later Alanis Morisette, somewhere between Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie and playing God in Dogma. There's a journey for ya. Video was directed by her brother Jake Jarvi, a guy who gained my affection by writing that White Out is “Both hilarious and horrifying. No easy feat.” But now, I'm a professional journalist, and I can't allow good reviews and nice sound bytes to color my judgment. Damned fun video, review or not. Even if the hovering boxes looked a little out of place. That's no reason to tell stories after school, I'd say. I like the shaky cam usage when the song begins to “rock.” The quotes don't deride the song's rockage.
fig. d
There is some discussion after this about whether or not we want pizza or Nosferatu. I hope the two are not mutually exclusive as dinner was promised as well as the vampire film. The cluster of audience members seem too shy so I go ahead and shoot my hand in the air voting a yay for pizza even though I'd made a Lenten vow not to consume said food. (Lent simply seeming like a good excuse to go strong on a diet. Not the God thing.) Though as it wasn't “Pizza or--” and I really don't believe that Nosferatu is the second choice, and I'm hungry, I cast my ballot. Perhaps upon seeing someone bold enough to request food, a few others second the notion. The support for Nosferatu is slim though, and we dip into the Films About Films track of shorts.
“Who's on First: The Movie” goes...well...first. And I'm immediately predisposed to be prejudiced against it. At an early age, my Uncle Joe instilled in me a profound respect for Abbot and Costello in their pre-meeting The Mummy years and taught me to regard “Who's On First” (see fig. e) as one of the most brilliant examples of comedic wordplay in radio. So, while seeing a guy at the video store debate when his movie The Day After Tomorrow is due and be told it's due the “day after tomorrow” elicited a few chuckles, and I am impressed by the list of films they were able to shoehorn into this concept (Ten, Seven, Before Sunset, etc) they ruin the goodwill I'm affording them by running a good chunk of the actual “Who's On First” sketch during the closing credits, reminding me once and for all how much better that version was. But perhaps it's just hunger and snarkiness coming on.
The next short, “About Film Festivals” is an anomaly. It features a dull man, facing the camera, talking about film festivals and imparting wisdom such as “You may decide you want to just go to the film festival website rather than to the film festival itself.” One assumes it's all a joke, in which case the dullness of the entire thing works to its advantage...but there's always the chance it's serious. In which case...well, it's bad. I choose to believe it's a joke.
fig. e
Several folks in the front row shout out a request for the intriguingly named “Santa's Camels” and as I cannot find it in the program, I have no idea what to expect. After crashing the DVD program twice, “Santa's Camels” is put on the back burner in favor of "strange dancing man erasing imagery of himself by dancing backwards." This is what I dubbed it as also couldn't find this one in the program. (Note from the future reveals that it is called “Air Condition”) It is strange but funny and rather hypnotic.
“Moviebonics” turns out to be pretty much exactly what I thought it'd be: people who speak only in movie quotes. Two “unnamed religious fundamentalists” show up at the front door of a couple with the kickassing-est home theater ever and only speak in movie quotes. Amusing, though the effect wears off after you realize that this must be what it's like when people engage in conversation with you (you meaning me) and you say things like “I rarely wear underwear and when I do it's usually something exotic.” (Which is, of course a movie quote. Say which one and win our prize, Karl's voice on your home answering machine!) The best line was “Say hello to my little friend.” just before an off camera sex scene.
