A politically-correct satire of religion specifically targeting Jews and Catholics, Ninjews tells the story of two brothers, Yoav (Albert Vera) and Fyvush (Joey Milillo) Goldsteinfeldbergowitzblumbaum who are Mohels (Rabbis trained to perform circumcisions). In a brief, newsreel-style introduction, we learn that during a Bris, an accident occurred involving a Katana “Samurai” Sword that once belonged to a ninja. Because of this mishap, both brothers were imbued with the power to transform into Ninjews, superheroes who fight anti-Semitism wherever it arises.
After the prologue, the main story begins. Fyvush, the younger brother, begins dating Mary McO’Flannerymalley (Julie Oliver), an Irish Catholic. Yoav is upset and frustrated with his brother’s choice to date someone who isn’t Jewish. When the relationship seems to be converting Fyvush to Catholicism, Yoav intervenes. But things aren’t all that they seem with Mary and soon the brothers must overcome their differences and summon their powers to defeat the ultimate enemy.
The opening segment of writer/director Josh Bass’s Ninjews was done in a clever newsreel-style that used elements like a projector sound effect, dirt and scratches on a washed-out film print, and a voice over delivered with the fast-paced enthusiasm of a 1930s-era newsman. This sequence was well-paced and effectively established how Yoav and Fyvush became the Ninjews.
The following scenes all take place in the brothers’ home/office, specifically their living room. Actually, other than a brief establishing shot outside the home that’s used to transition between scenes, and the opening sequence itself, this is the only location. Speaking of the establishing shots, it’s during these shots that one of the film’s best gags takes place. A large sign for the brothers’ business sits in the front yard. Throughout the film, the slogan on the sign changes, each time making a crude but funny reference to the process and benefits of circumcision.
And while those particular sight gags were clever, many of the other jokes fell flat. The primary reason for this is that while I assume Ninjews was meant to be a satire skewering religion, it never quite felt like it rose above obvious ethnic jokes. In the best satirical animation (think The Simpsons, South Park or even Family Guy), while the writers often poke fun at specific groups, they use irreverent humor as a way to point out society’s hypocrisy and biases. In Ninjews, this intention wasn’t so clear-cut. It seemed like the point was to make fun of Judaism and Catholicism for no other reason than that the beliefs of both are “funny” in and of themselves. At the same time, there was an effort to drive home the message that it’s okay to date outside your racial or religious circle, but this sentiment rang a little false given all that came before it.
The other problem with Ninjews was its length. Clocking in at 12 minutes and 45 seconds, the middle section of the film felt redundant and made the film seem longer than it was. Specifically, the scenes taking place in Yoav and Fyvush’s home had a specific pattern that became predictable. There were six scenes that followed this pattern, and each one began with an establishing shot of the house (featuring the sign with its ever-changing slogan), followed by a shot of Yoav sitting in the living room waiting for his brother to arrive home. Yoav reads a Jewish-centric magazine (This is another sight gag that was hit and miss as every time we see Yoav he’s reading a different magazine. Some of the covers include Spinner, a magazine about competitive Dreideling and, my personal favorite, “Call Your Mother” with the headline “How ungrateful are you? Find out inside!”). Fyvush arrives with his girlfriend, Mary and proceeds to tell Yoav about some Catholic/Christian activity he’s just come from. Yoav gets progressively more and more annoyed with the situation until everything comes to a head as he confronts Mary about her “true” intentions.
