This scene could be much better if done by narration. Granted, it would shorten the film, but with as many extraneous scenes and moments of little happening, I personally think this film would be much better if it were much shorter. Ending the film with a montage and narration – either by David perhaps, or even Carlito, the goofball of the bunch – could make stilted dialogue humorous. For instance, in the bit of dialogue mentioned above, the narrator could say something to the effect of, “Oh, him? He got over Ashley’s case of cooties. In fact, he married her!”
Visual Look
There weren’t a lot of major visual issues that I noticed – a few of the exteriors had a bit of washout and/or the halo effect, and on a couple of occasions the contrast seemed a bit low. The nighttime images had several out-of-focus shots; something that is always difficult to control when shooting in low light. I cannot stress the importance of using a monitor, especially when shooting in low-light conditions!
Some of the cuts were a bit confusing at first – toward the beginning there are shots of David sitting alone on the front steps of his house, interspersed with random cuts to several of his friends in a nearby yard. It is a little disorienting for the viewer, and is hard to tell where the boys are coming from when they finally pass by David’s house. Of course one can’t be expected to get a complete tour of the neighborhood, but it’d be great to make use of the film’s Steadicam operator and perhaps follow the boys out of their yard and toward David’s house, just for an interesting shot.
One thing that really needs to be fixed, though, is the part in which David’s grandmother takes him to Bingo. There’s a shot of them in the house, getting ready to leave. Then they walk out the door, there’s a cut, and they walk back into the house, with the grandmother proclaiming that David had won the jackpot. There has to be some sort of shot of them in the Bingo parlor! The set doesn’t have to be elaborate – most Bingo games are set up in church basements anyway – and the scene can be done by use of montage and goofy music to make it more humorous. In addition, the audience doesn’t know how much money David has won until nearly five minutes later when one of his friends mentions the amount – also something the audience ought to be told, as young David he frequently talks about using the money to finance his dreams.
Use of Audio
There weren’t a lot of audio issues in this film. The dialogue was clear and easy to understand, although I did notice the background sound dropping out suddenly in a couple of instances. “Room tone” sound should have been inserted into these bits to even out the background audio. In addition, there was one scene where an odd musical sound can be heard in the background, after which David leaves the frame and returns a moment later licking an ice cream cone. That was really the only cue that indicated the sound was caused by an ice cream truck, of which there should have been some sort of visual image, which ended up making the scene look a little sloppy.
