Vanity and Art: Creating Art From Selfish Desires (Article/Crowdfunding)

Posted by Ian Delaney on Oct 8, 2013 | 0 comments

How I turned a self-centered idea into a short film with a conscience
and the ability to help those struggling with grief…
and how I’ve grown as a filmmaker because of it.

Genesis

It all began, as most things seem to in an actor’s life, with a touch of vanity.

I have been writing short films and scenes for years as an effort to hire myself (and friends) when the established Industry hadn’t done so yet. What I discovered is that my talent for writing, meager as it may be, lies entirely in writing great material for other people. Looking back on the body of work my friends and I produced, the roles I wrote for myself were “poor players” indeed, whereas the roles I wrote for my friends held all the comedy, all the drama, and, therefore, helped  propel their careers far further and faster than my own.

This realization led me to an important question: how can I write better stories and characters for myself? More accurately, it was probably: how can I write something that puts all the attention back on me? Vanity.

Now a true writer would realize that the problem was with creating soft characters, ones that weren’t clearly defined before setting pen to paper or fingertip to keyboard. Coming from an actor’s head, I realized the problem was with all the other pesky actors sharing the screen with me. If I was the only one I was writing for, there would be no way for me to write myself into a less interesting, less central role. And that is truly where I began my journey of writing a one man film.

Stuck in the Corner

Anyone who has gone to film school would immediately see my quest as folly and be able to list dozens of reasons why a one character film was a poor cinematic choice. What’s great is that I never went to film school. What’s even greater is that once I decided on a one character film, I thought “what if I make a one location film?”

“What if it was an entire film that was one setup, a single shot with multiple angles?”

“How, by narrowing a story to its simplest could I explore greater creativity?”

This is also the point where I crossed feature-length off the list.

This idea of painting yourself into a box (if I may mix metaphors) leading to greater creativity is something we’re taught in improvisation class, and I agree, sounds counter-intuitive.

What crazy burnt-out hippie of an acting teacher would think that by limiting options you’re able to be more creative and grow as an artist?

At least that’s what my own sophomoric inner monologue screamed. The truth is, and I think every creative person can find some anecdotal evidence of this in their life, that when you focus your creative energy by eliminating the tangents and burn a clear path through the forest you’re rewarded with some really phenomenal results.

Art Shines Through

My result came in the form of a solitary man eating alone at a table set for three talking to the phantom memories of his young wife and baby daughter who were both killed in a tragic accident. As he painfully and pitifully tries to cling to the routine and comfort of the life he built for himself and his family, we see that this is a man in ruins. Wracked by grief and guilt seeing no value in his life without theirs.

What I think is really powerful, and where art really shines in the human experience, is that my journey took me from creating something for selfish and vain reasons, and morphed it into a story that really touches on what it means to give all yourself to those you love and how you regain yourself when they’re taken away. It remains a showcase piece for myself and a film I’ll take to festivals, but through this journey I’ve discovered that it can also be an avenue for enlightenment, hope, and comfort for those who are silently grieving and struggling with living with loss.

There are numerous support groups both online and in our communities that help people overcome the feelings of isolation that loneliness that accompany the loss of a spouse, child, parent, or close friend. After all, isn’t this why we’re artists? To effect change, to shed light on an emotion, an injustice, an idiotic hilarity and thereby give our audiences the catharsis we all need from time to time?

All vanity and career aspirations aside, that is truly why I’m an artist.

Closing Thoughts

We are on schedule to film this fall and are currently in the middle of our Kickstarter campaign to raise the funds to be able to make this film possible. If you would like to donate to the project, and receive some truly incredible gifts in return, please open your heart and your wallet by going to to the “Holes” Kickstarter Page.